So, I recently stopped therapy about 4 months ago and when I tell you guys the best thing I ever did was get a therapist in my life... I mean it. I take mental health very serious amongst myself because when I was a teenager growing up, I was very depressed. A little after I started my new career in Jan 2020, I felt myself reverting back to my teenage depressing years. I made a promise to my younger self that I would never feel that way again and if I did I would get help. I think some form of therapy is necessary for everybody. Understanding your emotions and why you feel a way has a lot to do with trauma and past events. Me being able to explore those emotions and open my mind up to new avenues has not only made me a more optimistic person but I don't have a bunch of intrusive thoughts as I once did. Even if I am having a tough day, the way I internalize things are 100% better. I'll give you some of my main reasons as to why therapy changed my life.
Why Therapy? Why not friends and family?
Til this day I have a hard time with opening up with people. Not because they will judge me, but because we have our own lives to live. I always felt that my issues were only my issues to handle. Yes of course I tell my bestfriends and family a lot of stuff but you truly never know what someone goes through on the other side of the spectrum. I felt I needed to talk to someone that didn't know me from a can of paint. I wanted no bias, and trust me, friends and family have an unconscious bias. Not because they want to narrative to go their way, but sometimes people care about you too much they will tell you exactly what you want to hear and not what you need. Therapist asks the questions that others are afraid to ask, they ask the questions that you are afraid to hear and that's why I appreciated my therapist so much.
Being Transparent
So this was my biggest step when getting into therapy. I had saw a therapist when I was younger once and I hated it. The person was not truly invested in my well being but rather the metrics. That created a bias against therapy in my mind since a child, but I made sure to go into this one with a different mindset. I choose my therapist this time, I made sure they provided the type of therapy I needed, and I also tried to be open. That was truly hard for me because I don't open up to people very well. I would try and talk around the whole issue instead of tackling it head on. My therapist was very patient with me and my time. They made sure to understand not only my situation but my life. They made sure not to overstep too soon and also made sure that I was comfortable. I think that is what made it more easier for me to be transparent.
Trauma
GUYS! Trauma is a lot to unpack when it comes to therapy, but it essential to growth. We all have trauma, some bigger than others. It's not about the size of the trauma though, it's always the impact it leaves. Depending on the situation, we can stay at a certain age that we felt the trauma. Other times we can self sabotage ourselves through trauma and you can form PTSD. Majority of the problems in your life stems from trauma. Sometimes you never really know how much stuff affects you until you talk about it. I know I didn't realize how much of my childhood affected my adulthood until I started talking about it and asking myself those questions. Always asks the why's.
Journaling
I write a lot. I love to write. When I started my new career, I wasn't able to write anymore. I felt lost. Very lost at that. One thing my therapist made me do was write as much as I could. Not only did this helped me understand my emotions more but it got me back into doing what I love -- creating ideas for my business. When you write things out you can revisit your old emotions to see if there is a pattern on how you feel and what thoughts go through your head. Think of it as the diary you had as a kid.
Therapy comes in all forms
I am an advocate for ALL therapy. I don't think a therapist is for everyone but I believe therapy is. Therapy can be journaling, meditating, or whatever brings you peace. Find out what you are comfortable with doing and make a routine out of it.
Mental Health is very important! Suicide rates are rising in the young black communities each year. Forget the stigmas, forget if people think you are 'crazy'. This is your life and you have to take control of it. We have to talk about our battles, we must inhale the good shit and exhale the bullshit.
*I found my therapist on TherapyforBlackGirls .*