If I got $1 for every time someone asked me why I'm single I promise you I would be racked up! (no seriously).. I haven't been in a relationship in years, I haven't even seriously talked to someone in months. "Is it trust issue?" "Are you a lesbian?" "Daddy issues?"Like damn, can I live??? Let me really tell y'all why I'm single though.
I'm on a journey
So I'm on the beautiful journey of learning more about myself. I've been discovering who I am and what my own life means to me. Since I haven't talked to anyone for months I had a lot of time to learn how to love myself. I came to a realization that if I don't love myself then no one will. We spend a lot of our energy on being what our partner wants us to be when we should put that energy into ourselves and the reward would be so much more bittersweet.
Men like the idea of me, but do they actually want to get to know me?
I've been very picky about who I choose to give my time to because a lot of guys get the wrong impression of who I actually am. Thinking you know me based off social media, mutual friends, or what someone else said is not knowing me. I think relationships should be beyond sexual. Feed my mind, ask me about my life goals, ask me about my past trauma, it's so much to know about a person before actually getting serious with them.
I cannot be bought
I hate guys who think because they bought me dinner or flowers I'm obligated to give them any of my time. Yes, that is a nice gesture and I really appreciate it but it won't make you any more attractive. Happiness and love cannot be bought so try again.
I need a man who is comfortable with himself
Yes, men have low self esteem too. I'm all for men knowing who they are and where they want to be. That's not saying you have to 100% sure of everything that goes on in your life but I don't like insecure men. I have male & female friends and if you don't like me around them or need to know my whereabouts every minute then we most likely won't work out.
I'm simply not ready to give myself to anyone
My past relationships taught me so much. I've been mentally abused, called out my name, all in all I was treated very poorly by anyone I talked to before. It wasn't until last year that I gave myself a reality check about letting men run over me. Since then, I don't have the energy or passion to force myself be anyone who doesn't bring pure joy in my life. So no, I don't wanna rekindle past relationships either. You can move wrong once and it's over with, I don't give second chances anymore.
My life is busy
People make times for the things they want right? I'm not in a relationship because I can't find anyone I just simply don't want to be in one. I'm graduating in 5 months, I have business ventures, work, and just so much other non-relationship things that occupy me. Literally the last thing on my mind is a man.
All in all, I love myself. Me being single doesn't mean I'm lonely either. It doesn't mean I won't give guys a chance with me, I'm just very selective. It also doesn't indicate I hate relationships, but I've learned not to force things with people. If people think you're miserable or something is wrong with you because you're single, send them this. She's just not that into you babe.